Back in the Uniform + Back in Kelli’s office

Being fitted for the DCC Uniform is like trying on your wedding dress in front of your fiancé. There is no one you want to impress more than your love, and you can only think of what will run through his mind when he sees you. You have no idea how the starless shorts and blouse will look on you when you walk out in front of Kelli, barefooted and completely vulnerable. No one’s opinion matters at that moment except Kelli’s. The first time I tried wearing the uniform, it was euphoric. It is incredible to stand there in that stunned moment when you see yourself in one of the most treasured icons of TEXAS, the NFL, and the US to thousands of Cowboys fans worldwide and a greatly anticipated sight to hundreds of troops abroad. The second time, however, was less fairytale and more like seeing your __(fill in the blank with childhood dream)___ hanging off the edge of a cliff, knowing you could lose it with one false move (no pun intended). 

The best part of uniform fittings this time was talking to Kelli face to face, the first time since the Final auditions. At the end of every practice, I always expected Kelli to emerge from her office and call me in; I was strangely beginning to feel left out. I was pleasantly surprised our conversation revolved around my career and even more taken aback when she ensured all the crewmen and passer-byers knew I would be starting as a geography professor in the fall.

A week after uniform fittings, we had another “performance night.” Suppose you wonder why I am hardly shown with my group or dancing. In that case, it is because the CMT setup (a couple of cameras, a couple of crewmen, etc) was always set directly in front of me to get the majority of the studio in the shot. It was unsettling to have the cameras only a couple of feet directly in front of me, but the most unfortunate result was never having the advantage of seeing myself in the mirror. 

There were plenty of gut-wrenching moments when the routine would call for me to look to my right, and I would see I was off. This night was one of those. Finally, being called into the office was honestly relieving.  I was always aware that I would be the weakest dancer in the room, but not having Kelli and Judy call me into the office and, for the majority of the time, them not commenting on me after we performed was unnerving. This was starkly different from 2006, when I was called into the office after every “performance night” and always had a hefty load of comments made after the music stopped.

By week three this year, I was feeling overlooked. My first time in Kelli’s office this season was encouraging on the one hand, but it also weighed heavy on my heart. I was grateful to have Kelli and Judy stand behind me and assure me they wanted me on the team, but knowing they were supporting me was oddly unnerving. In other words, to have the people holding your dream in their hand and saying, “We want to give this to you if you will just bring your A Game” is more overwhelming than going for your dream out of the blue and with courage (not knowing what you are indeed up against) like my first attempt at joining the ranks of the DCC. Making it to training camp, experiencing a glimpse of the memories and friendships you could make as a DCC, then being sent home is heartbreaking. Trying again, knowing it could be taken away, is even more stressful on your emotions. I have the utmost respect for women who have done this and succeeded, you truly are role models (xoxo Candice, Natalie, & Ray).

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DCC Making the Team 2011: Episode 1 Season Six - with Kalli Fullerton

I was much less anxious watching DCC Making the Team this time. Instead of hiding in my dorm room to watch it secretly, hoping for the best, I could watch it surrounded by friends this time. Being on a reality show is nerve-racking for one prominent reason… You never know what angle the producers will lean to for your “character.”  We were filmed for three months, and your struggles and triumphs changed during that time. Your attitude changes, your goals change, your energy level changes. Until the show airs, there is no way to know which parts of your story will be shown. The first season focused on my emotional breakdowns but never showed the story behind my weak moments. This is reality TV, after all!



After the first few moments of seeing what parts of my story would be the focus for the rest of the season, I could relax. The most anticipated moment for all contestants watching the show is to see what is said about you behind closed doors. The best moment for me during the first episode was to see that Charlotte (surprisingly), Kelli, and Judy remembered me. Even more heartwarming was to hear that they were supportive and glad (from my interpretation) to see me back after a six-year hiatus (I wasn’t sure how that would be interpreted).

What was different from my first audition (2006) regarding the actual audition process is a frequent question.  There are several major differences, and I will mention them as the show progresses. The first surprising moment was arriving at Cowboys Stadium for preliminaries. The number of women in line to audition was comparatively small to my first experience. The first time I made the lonely walk from my car to the audition line (at Texas Stadium), there were already 500 girls in line. I would be surprised if 500 girls came to take that first step and just showed up this year. However, the caliber of talent, beauty, and, most of all, experience with a professional dance team was, without a doubt, double that of 2006. The competition left me rattled.


To be honest, almost everyone choreographs a small, easily manipulated routine for the “freestyle” first round of auditions. I had created what I thought was going to be a fantastic ensemble. I had perfected it by dancing it to everything on the radio for a month, maybe more ; ). As I stood there ready to hit those moves I had painstakingly memorized, the music finally came on, and ….  My mind went blank. Acting statuesque as the panel of judges writes first impression notes about you before the music comes on is enough to distract you in the first place. I have no idea what song was playing or what awkward moves finally started moving my feet from their glued spots on the floor, but I do know that not a single move from my perfect list of choreography was displayed during those disappointing two minutes.  I am thankful I didn’t stand stone cold like a few awestruck/paralyzed ladies. Who can blame them?

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Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders auditions 2006

Six years ago, when I was a freshman in college I auditioned for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Never have I faced challenges like those during that long three month period of auditions and training camp in 2006. Let’s start with the beginning. Living in a small town two hours west of Dallas I have always lived in the Cowboys Nation and looked up to the DCC. As long as I can remember, people have told me “you should be a DCC!” Even during a swing dancing competition in 2011 I had a judge tell me “you know, you look like a DCC, you should audition …" I just smiled and said “you are right, maybe I’ll do that! (again)." My love for the DCC was not from afar; my grandmother took me and my sister all over DFW to DCC appearances to meet them and get signed photos. I have a stack of signed squad photos starting from 1989 (I was three).


But back to the story... second semester, freshman year, I started to “get ready” for the 2006 auditions. I was so excited to be at TCU and close to the Cowboys, finally able to audition. Unfortunately  I had never taken dance seriously. I only started in 8th grade and throughout high school only dance one night a week. On the other hand, cheer leading was my number one priority and love. During my freshman year it would have been beneficial to take a dance class but instead I took a few kick boxing  classes at the gym and thought I was in pretty good shape. Oh, how naive! I was truly shocked to find myself making it through the audition rounds at Texas Stadium. 

Everyone was beautiful and the dancing was so far out of my league I was trembling with embarrassment as I thought to myself, "what am I doing here." After the first round of auditions, I actually didn't see my number on the white board. If it were not for the girl next to me randomly yelling, “you made it” and hugging me I would have walked away. 

With shock on my face I made my way back to my mom at the gate and we celebrated with tears and hugs. I was happy to make it to the second round and had very low expectations on the second day of auditions. We were down on the field and the dance moves they were teaching us didn't seem to be the type of dancing I associated with the DCC and I was utterly lost. As we made it back up to our seats and the judges came out for us to start I started crying. I was so disappointed in myself that I couldn't learn the material and went back and forth for several minuets trying to decide if I should leave or not. 

The first of the famous "Kalli Breakdowns" started to happen; I patted my cheeks to try and pull it together. Ironically, I thought "I made it so far," had I only known I would make it to the very end of training camp twice, six years apart I might have been a little bit less weepy. Thankfully, I was at the very beginning of the large group of women or else I may have never got out on the dance floor. I did what they tell you to do, "just smile and keep moving." Even in 2011, I auditioned with a girl who got out on the floor and barley moved, forgetting all the moves she knew so well moments before. She did not make it to the next round but is now on the 2012 squad after a second audition. 

Somehow, that tactic of "keep your feet moving" worked and Kelli called my name! Watching the show after I am still so honored that Judy said my solo was one of her favorites! If you can just make it past the second round finals is so much fun, because its your change to do what you do best. Even though I had a blast and felt confident, I again was completely taken aback when I made it to training camp. After almost missing my name on the board and barely able to say my name without choking up during the second round it was nothing less than a miracle. 

Morning of my 1st DCC audition, 2006

I had met Erika a few weeks before auditions and we became quick friends. She was there to help me through the entire journey.

When I made it into Training Camp my best friend Logan had secretly decorated my dorm door

After making it to training camp, the last weeks of my freshman year became the hardest of my life. The first week of training camp happened to be the week of school finals. So, I would wake up at 5 am study for that day’s exam, take it, and run back to my dorm, shower and get “DCC ready.” Then, I would drive an hour to Valley Ranch. Upon arrival we would run a couple of miles, work out with Jay, and then head into the studio to learn a new dance. I would get home about 1 am, practice until I fell asleep in my sweaty clothes, then wake up again at 5 am and do the exact same routine for a week. Obviously, this was not my most shining moment as a student. Not to mention, the boy I had been ogling and googling over had finally decided to be my official boyfriend and for the first two months of our relationship (after 5 months of admiration from afar) he only saw me once or twice a week just to say hi (he is now my wonderful husband ). Also, I was not able to say goodbye to all my new friends as they left for the summer. These may seem small, but at the time it was devastating. And, that was just the tip of the iceberg that made Kelli Finglass ask me… “are you emotional?” 

Training camp was beyond what I had ever imagined. Tobie and I had become good friends and lived together for that summer. She was an incredible dancer and it seemed so easy for her. I would practice, practice, practice and she would "review" and then get out there like a pro the next night; no wonder she went on to be a five year vet! The running before practice and then dancing for hours was grueling, but the most intensive part was having Kelli and Judy watch almost every practice. My feedback was consistent  "nice smile... sweet smile... big smile..."  followed by "lacking power... forgetful... forgetful..."   I was called in to the office almost every week but felt like Kelli and Judy really wanted me to do well but they looked at me like a poor wounded puppy. By the last week of camp I was feeling much more confident and started to whisper to myself, "you are almost there." 


The last week of training camp was coming to an end. I had the DCC squad photo day starred in my planner… I could see the end in sight! The last practice before squad photos we headed out the bubble on the Cowboys practice field at Valley Ranch. After quickly showing us the DCC stadium entrance they do before the games we were all spread out across the in-zone and made our attempts at the new choreography. Of course there are those that just "get it," and those Judy calls "take homers," I fall into that second group. I knew I was failing miserably and not "hitting my lines," but I kept on smiling. At the end of the night they had four girls stand up. We were surely the "maybe's" who's fate had yet to be decided. We turned away to Kelli and Judy and the rest of the girls and stud out on the field knowing this was it. The song they choose was one that we had learned recently and had a quick intro. I was the only one to start at the right time and was proudly beaming at that until I missed a change in the choreography as a result of messing two dances. The song ended and Kelli asked the girls, "who looks game ready?" My name was not called out. 

We went back to the locker rooms and everyone hugged myself, Natalie, and two others. After Natalie went in and came out saying "I am going to go eat a hamburger," I hugged her and went back to telling myself not to cry. I went into Kelli's office and I knew immediately it was my "last night." I was still very heartbroken and it was very difficult to let go of all that comes with making it to the end of training camp, most importantly your friends. I was devastated at the time and knew that no matter how we tried, the friends I had made would go on and we would loose touch. 

However, God knew what was best for me, and I believe, He had a hand in helping Kelli and Judy let me go.  I adored college. I was a leader in my sorority, Pi Beta Phi, found my passion for geography, and most importantly was able to spend my college experience with the love of my life.  If I had made DCC in 2006, I would have never been able to continue to be a crucial part in my sorority, which I loved. My education would not have been as important, and as a result, I might have never found my niche leading me to be a Geography Professor and do what I love everyday. And, I know without a doubt, I would never have been able to give as much time to the Lord, or my love; trying to juggle all of that would have been an impossible feat and I know something I loved would have dropped.


That audition lead me to find out who I really was, and even more importantly, what I really wanted.

Training Camp 2006

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