DCC: Letting Go - Kalli Fullerton's Goodbye to Seasons 2 and attempt number 2

After being called into the office, when Brittany was asked to help me through the last week, I left training camp knowing my future was not stitched with blue and white.  As you might have been able to tell from the cameo shoot, my heart had begun to face that being a DCC was not a likely possibility. At the last performance night before the photo shoot we were asked to perform a dance with two versions. We had learned the extended version the night before and were told, almost as a fleeting thought, something like, “We also do this to another song and change the order.” Well, of course, the next night, Kelli and Judy asked to see the version I had not even practiced (ironically choosing to rigorously rehearse the long version, thinking Kelli and Judy would surely ask to see it).

 As you can tell, I am exactly an 8-count ahead of my group. When the routine called for the first glance to the right, I felt a dagger in my stomach.  I felt like everything was in slow motion as I took a deep breath and told myself, “You have to keep going.” It was a tough internal battle, and my smile was almost painful. Realizing you have been completely off when seconds before you were confident and possibly enjoying performing for the first time all summer is, to say the least, discomforting. I reluctantly tried to block the reality out of my mind and focus. Rather than perform for the cameramen in front of me, I amateurishly directed my attention to Marie in hopes of remembering the 2^nd version of the routine.

Kelli and Judy’s song choices during performance nights are something I resisted up until my last performance in front of them at Cowboys Stadium. Regardless of the songs I thought they would choose both in 2011 and 2006, Kelli and Judy seem to be devoted to their favorite handful. Unfortunately, I think whatever your least favorite dance is, that’s the one your group always gets, while you only get to perform your favorites for your reflection in the mirror. Every performance night, my group was given the most hip-hop of dances to a song I had never heard before camp.  And sure enough, that was the last dance I will ever perform in my life.

Once the night had ended, I felt like it was surely my last. Being called into the office with Brittany was difficult. I had grown to adore her, and when she said before Kelli and Judy even asked her to help, “I want her on the team too,” I lost it. I am not sure I would have taken the second chance if Brittany had not been in the room. That week of camp, one of the veterans said that when she was going through her first year of training camp, a vet told her, “Remember, you love to do this!” And I looked down at the floor and thought, “do I love this?”  I love to perform, and I would have loved to cheer on the Cowboys and be all that is a DCC. However, only someone truly a dancer by heart can dedicate that much time to DCC and have it fill their spirit. This would have been true even for me in 2006, but my ambitions had changed by the time I had the opportunity to try out again when I wasn't in school. 

I auditioned again because I had wanted to be a DCC for as long as I can remember, but mostly because during my time at training camp in 2006, I saw what a family the cheerleaders are to each other. I longed to be a part of a beautiful group of women who got to experience all the things reserved for their special feet alone. From a distance, seeing the lifelong friendships I might have been a part of is one of the hardest things to overcome. That desire to be part of those friendships and the organization as a whole is what ultimately brought me back.

Waking up the day of the first field practice, I was both nervous and sad. Sitting in front of my mirror propped up against the wall, with my makeup spread out all around me, I felt like I was going into battle. I put on my makeup like it was the last time I would do so. I did not rush and finally had time to straighten my hair. It felt like the last time, and I soaked it in. 

I packed my bag and slowly pulled myself into my car to face the giant. I stopped at the gas station and picked up a large water, two energy bars, skittles, a chicken sandwich, and a Dr. Pepper. Unfortunately, I only got one gulp of the Dr. Pepper and a mouth full of skittles down before I hit the field. I arrived at Cowboys Stadium three hours before the actual practice start time. This was to film Britt and me practicing. Before this moment, I would have defended the show as “reality.”

Even though the entire story for each TCC cannot be told, and there will always be gaps, I have to say the events you see for most of the show are real. Yes, some moments are “created” (the rolling out of the white board… both auditions that took at least 5 takes), but those moments did happen and reflect reality, just from a better angle. These “better angle moments” are a way to condense what we go through. However, I knew when Britt and I left the locker room after Kelli’s suggested "help" there would hardly be time on either side for extra practice. Fortunately, Brittany could come and help me with two of the ~18 dances we learned, but that was the extent of this last resort for my case. 

I had agreed to come to this last “better angle moment” at the stadium for an opportunity to arrive earlier than everyone else for practice time. This, however, was a grave mistake. We shot Brittany’s whole-hearted attempt at bettering my dance abilities twice. By the time we got back into the locker room, I had just enough time to change, ask Becca to fluff my hair, and quickly (frantically) run the two dances I thought we would be asked to perform, simultaneously praying for "Thunder" to be heard over the speakers. This was the song/dance for the stadium entrance and the ultimate "cheer," old school dance, and, of course, my favorite (regrettably, we were not asked to perform it). What did I not have time to do… eat.

The first task we were dealt with on the field was the DCC introduction. From the outside, this may seem like a basic, relatively straightforward combination. However, it was the very thing I had dreaded most all summer. Like the second round of auditions, you are taught something foreign and unlike anything you have tried. This is never going to end well for me. The arm movements are big, and when you mess up, it is obvious. The arm movements have similarities (up circle, down circle, right circle, HIT, up circle, out circle, right Hit, left Hit), making the sequence easy to forget. So, instead I seem to have kept my arms tight and tense and just look like I have no idea what came next. That is exactly how I felt, too.

I expected to not pick up the intro, what I did not expected was doing it until I got it right (well, until Judy realized I was never going to get it right at least). This required five tries down the field and five runs back to the in-zone. Mixing that with no food did not have a good result on the next leg of the night’s activities.  After the first dance, I felt like I was going to faint and quickly turned away from the stands after the music stopped. The second dance was worse; having to touch the ground more than once, I fell twice. Luckily, the wonderful crew gave me granola bars and helped me to the bench.  After inhaling the two bars and sitting still, I felt much better. But, if I didn't know it already, I knew it then; I had just signed off on my release from camp.

I joined the veterans to do the kick line; I was close to the middle and next to two of my favorite vets. I closed my eyes, looked down at the star, and up into the empty stands and thought, “You got close.”

Landing in the jump split with DCC veterans on each side of me and giving it my all once more in the face of adversity, I gazed past my fingertips and was proud. It has been almost four months since that night, and while I am so happy with my life, I am conflicted about how hard it truly is to give up. There is honestly no room in my life for one more responsibility, yet the fact I have to walk away with the goal twice at my fingertips is difficult. My nature is to push and push until I reach whatever I am working for. However, I can honestly say, for the second time… God always knows best. And for whatever challenge or dream is next in line, I had better prepare because I have a vendetta out for rising above the circumstances and reaching a seemingly unattainable goal.

I love this picture,  I am the only one walking through the moves as the vets show us how the kick line is supposed to look, and like always, I am sticking out from the crowd.

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First semester as a Geography Professor (while the DCC making the team season 6 aired simulations)

Thanksgiving is over, and all the students are now sluggishly trying to kick-start their brains to get through the last two weeks of the semester. As a first-year college professor, on the other hand, my thoughts race as I try to keep my “lead” and finish my last few lectures. What I mean by a “lead” is somewhat of an academic joke, especially for first-time professors. Daily, I am consumed with filling my PowerPoints with exciting and important information coupled with maps, pictures, and graphs that help visualize the information. Nothing is provided to new professors to accomplish this. So you must create every PowerPoint, every quiz, and exam “as you go,” and hope you can maintain your “lead.” I have nightmares of not getting tomorrow's lecture done in time, and there have been plenty of close calls. More than once, I have pressed the save button, ripped my flash drive from my office computer, and run across campus to deliver the lecture I just finished in the nick of time. Each PowerPoint has been painstakingly created after days of pouring over my notes, book reading, data collection, and NatGeo image searches.

I love what I do, and I truly believe the information I am presenting to my students benefits their education and development and the future of our country. That may seem like a grandiose statement, but when I open up my lecture by asking, “What is going on in the Middle East/North Africa” and no one can tell me about the governing transition of multiple countries, such as, Morocco most recently, Tunisia, and more than likely, Egypt, I realize how important my responsibility is.

Embracing this obligation to bring faraway images of shanty towns in Mumbai, population decline throughout Europe and Russia, human rights issues in the far west of China, new economic prospects in Southeast Asia, political change in the Middle East/North Africa, and loss of biodiversity in the Amazon and Madagascar, is a passion. To do this well, I have continuously stayed glued to my desk until well past 1 am every night this semester to make these, and many other real-world phenomena, understandable to my students. My greatest delight is not only bringing the issues to light my goal but also helping my students find their geographic thinking skills and see how these phenomena affect other seemingly unrelated issues. We would not have the Amazon without the Sahara’s fertilizing dust being swept across the Atlantic and supplementing the poor Amazonian soils. It is essential to understand Africa’s lack of internal transportation networks in hopes of finding solutions to its crippling poverty. When students have an “a ha” moment by relating Arctic oil to US foreign policy or EU development, I have done my job.

I am ready for Christmas break. I can not wait to take a deep breath and relish in completing each lecture (even if only moments before delivery time), saving me from having to fake an illness to avoid an awkward “I didn’t get it done” moment. I have learned so much from this semester and cannot wait to edit and add to my now semi-composed lectures covering the world with its incredibly unique regions. 

 

Geography in action! Venice, Italy 

PS. I entered this stage of life as Season Six of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Making the Team Aired. 

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Back in the Uniform + Back in Kelli’s office

Being fitted for the DCC Uniform is like trying on your wedding dress in front of your fiancé. There is no one you want to impress more than your love, and you can only think of what will run through his mind when he sees you. You have no idea how the starless shorts and blouse will look on you when you walk out in front of Kelli, barefooted and completely vulnerable. No one’s opinion matters at that moment except Kelli’s. The first time I tried wearing the uniform, it was euphoric. It is incredible to stand there in that stunned moment when you see yourself in one of the most treasured icons of TEXAS, the NFL, and the US to thousands of Cowboys fans worldwide and a greatly anticipated sight to hundreds of troops abroad. The second time, however, was less fairytale and more like seeing your __(fill in the blank with childhood dream)___ hanging off the edge of a cliff, knowing you could lose it with one false move (no pun intended). 

The best part of uniform fittings this time was talking to Kelli face to face, the first time since the Final auditions. At the end of every practice, I always expected Kelli to emerge from her office and call me in; I was strangely beginning to feel left out. I was pleasantly surprised our conversation revolved around my career and even more taken aback when she ensured all the crewmen and passer-byers knew I would be starting as a geography professor in the fall.

A week after uniform fittings, we had another “performance night.” Suppose you wonder why I am hardly shown with my group or dancing. In that case, it is because the CMT setup (a couple of cameras, a couple of crewmen, etc) was always set directly in front of me to get the majority of the studio in the shot. It was unsettling to have the cameras only a couple of feet directly in front of me, but the most unfortunate result was never having the advantage of seeing myself in the mirror. 

There were plenty of gut-wrenching moments when the routine would call for me to look to my right, and I would see I was off. This night was one of those. Finally, being called into the office was honestly relieving.  I was always aware that I would be the weakest dancer in the room, but not having Kelli and Judy call me into the office and, for the majority of the time, them not commenting on me after we performed was unnerving. This was starkly different from 2006, when I was called into the office after every “performance night” and always had a hefty load of comments made after the music stopped.

By week three this year, I was feeling overlooked. My first time in Kelli’s office this season was encouraging on the one hand, but it also weighed heavy on my heart. I was grateful to have Kelli and Judy stand behind me and assure me they wanted me on the team, but knowing they were supporting me was oddly unnerving. In other words, to have the people holding your dream in their hand and saying, “We want to give this to you if you will just bring your A Game” is more overwhelming than going for your dream out of the blue and with courage (not knowing what you are indeed up against) like my first attempt at joining the ranks of the DCC. Making it to training camp, experiencing a glimpse of the memories and friendships you could make as a DCC, then being sent home is heartbreaking. Trying again, knowing it could be taken away, is even more stressful on your emotions. I have the utmost respect for women who have done this and succeeded, you truly are role models (xoxo Candice, Natalie, & Ray).

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Back at Training Camp.. well sort of Kalli Fullerton Season 6 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Making the Team

It was an honor to be invited back to the DCC training camp, but to say the least… things have changed. First of all, I have been running on the beach with my dog for the last four months on a nightly basis to get ready for the mile (or more) run I had come to hate before every practice in 2006. I have never been a runner; jogging and walking, on the other hand, I love and are a daily activity. 

Those grueling laps around Valley Ranch have been a faint memory for a couple of years. Regardless of how happy I was about the missing running requirements, I truly was confused about the remaining workouts that were a huge part of training camp last time. I was mentally prepared for an hour of workouts with Jay, then a couple of hours of dancing, and heading home about 12am. We were still getting out at 11pm or 12am, but workouts had no impact on that late departure. This leads to the next change from 2006 to 2011 training camps.


Starting on the first night of training camp, we learned a new dance EVERY NIGHT. The amount and the speed of learning new material was double compared to my first experience. I am still shocked at how true dancers can just pick it up! Several days I would have to bite my lip when someone would say, “I didn’t practice, I hope we review,” or “once I do it again I’ll know it.” These women are genuinely meant to do this! It is amazing... that has never been me. After practice, I would go home, eat, try to sleep, wake up, and practice from 10-3:30 on the previous night’s routine. Take a quick shower and head to practice. A small group and I arrived at Valley Ranch around five every night (actual practice started at 7).  We rarely took time to review during actual practice, instead moving right along to the next dance (thus, the reason we arrived early… review, review, review).  Comparing 2006 and 2011, the speed and amount learned in 2011 were not anticipated and are still unnerving (the mile run in tights would have been better).


Regarding learning so quickly, the number one fear should have been performing those routines every night for Kelli and Judy. The last time I was in Training Camp, as soon as we learned a routine we were shaking in our poms knowing it was time to perform in rookie groups for Kelli and Judy. It still shocks me, but this is not how this summer turned out to be… at all. 

Kelli and Judy were hardly at practices, and if they were, we sparingly saw their shadows behind the tinted glass from Kelli’s office. Before the last week of Training Camp, we had only performed in front of them about four times. You would think this would be a good thing, but it only put more and more pressure on us each time we were caught off guard by an unannounced performance night. You only have a few times to get it right, and all hopes of “at least they have seen me on my good night” were out the door, leaving you with a hit-or-miss situation.

1st meeting 2006

1st meeting 2011

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DCC Final Auditions 2011 Kalli Fullerton's second season

Final additions are always the most exhausting.


6am: Shower, double-check your bag (suitcase full of essentials for the day) and get all dolled up.
7:30: Arrive at Cowboys Stadium and wait in line for an hour (or more). It was incredibly hot and intensely humid this year, so all the time spent curling our hair that morning was in vain.
9:00: Get to fluff and puff (redo hair and makeup after it all went downhill while waiting in line).
Spend the rest of the morning reviewing your solo routine (and trying not to see everyone else practicing their routines that always look better than yours, not to mention those props and costumes!).
Once we are in our seats and the solos start, everyone is cheering each other on and secretly quivering at the incredible talent and skill you have put yourself up against.


I started dancing when I was in 8th grade and continued taking dance classes once a week throughout high school. I was never a part of the “competition” group, but I was usually lucky enough to score a second-row spot for our recitals in town, and I was happy with that! In high school, I was a cheerleader down to my megaphone bumper sticker, and I loved it. I was a much better cheerleader than a dancer, so sitting and watching hours (yes, hours) of professional and natural-born dancers performing unbelievable routines for the judges was quite intimidating. After the first solo, my hands started to sweat. It is obvious who the veterans were, and their solos propelled my nerves up a level!  My seat was only two rows from the last, so I was one of the “lucky” ones!


 I had to try not to forget my routine while genuinely cheering on my competitors, as their talents far surpassed my own. Then, a few hours into this part of the day, I realized my shirt was a little wet, my bangs were sweaty, and there were only three rows of solos to go. So, I ran to the bathroom to try and clean up. The mirrors remind me of the number of times the humidity had affected my overly hair-sprayed hair, now resembling “beach hair.” I ran through my solo one more time away from all the beautiful faces about to size me and my routine up. "I am ready," and I ran back to take my place in line to step on stage. I was next to go, but I couldn't get the stress out of my hands from the hours I had been sitting in my chair with every muscle tense and my hands in tight fists, breaking apart for sporadic applause.




As I headed out to the center of the stage, I glanced at an encouraging smile from both Kelli and Judy and bowed my head, waiting for my music to start. I was happy with most of my routine. Of course, I forgot my favorite part and had to get back on track awkwardly with a misplaced turn, but that is the game's name (don’t stop!).  Overall, my performance was fine, and I tried to quickly move on to focus on the routine we had learned in the semi-finals.




Solos were finished, and we had more fluff and puff time (much needed), but most of us spent the remaining time running the routine. We were about to grace the biggest HD TV in the world. Once we got onto the field, going through each group of women was slow. The day has already been so long, and unlike the other two audition rounds, your mind isn’t allowed to shut off halfway through. We were still trying to keep focused and stay upbeat (regardless of our solo fumbles) and smile for the judges so far, far away in the stands as they focused on our HD strengths and weaknesses.




When we were done, done for real, and our muscles started to uncoil a little, we waited another couple hours to hear our decided fate.  This day was mentally stressful trying to remember your solo and the new routine, but the physical fatigue was staggering. After being tense and nervous for hours, dancing with all your energy more than a few times, and then finishing the day off with performing the kick line next to a veteran, is enough to require a hamburger, fries, milkshake, big fluffy bed, and 12 hours of sleep just to regain your sanity. Yet, if you are one of the blessed ones to make it into training camp, you must be happy with only the last two and grab a box of Junior Mints at the gas station.

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DCC Making the Team 2011: Episode 1 Season Six - with Kalli Fullerton

I was much less anxious watching DCC Making the Team this time. Instead of hiding in my dorm room to watch it secretly, hoping for the best, I could watch it surrounded by friends this time. Being on a reality show is nerve-racking for one prominent reason… You never know what angle the producers will lean to for your “character.”  We were filmed for three months, and your struggles and triumphs changed during that time. Your attitude changes, your goals change, your energy level changes. Until the show airs, there is no way to know which parts of your story will be shown. The first season focused on my emotional breakdowns but never showed the story behind my weak moments. This is reality TV, after all!



After the first few moments of seeing what parts of my story would be the focus for the rest of the season, I could relax. The most anticipated moment for all contestants watching the show is to see what is said about you behind closed doors. The best moment for me during the first episode was to see that Charlotte (surprisingly), Kelli, and Judy remembered me. Even more heartwarming was to hear that they were supportive and glad (from my interpretation) to see me back after a six-year hiatus (I wasn’t sure how that would be interpreted).

What was different from my first audition (2006) regarding the actual audition process is a frequent question.  There are several major differences, and I will mention them as the show progresses. The first surprising moment was arriving at Cowboys Stadium for preliminaries. The number of women in line to audition was comparatively small to my first experience. The first time I made the lonely walk from my car to the audition line (at Texas Stadium), there were already 500 girls in line. I would be surprised if 500 girls came to take that first step and just showed up this year. However, the caliber of talent, beauty, and, most of all, experience with a professional dance team was, without a doubt, double that of 2006. The competition left me rattled.


To be honest, almost everyone choreographs a small, easily manipulated routine for the “freestyle” first round of auditions. I had created what I thought was going to be a fantastic ensemble. I had perfected it by dancing it to everything on the radio for a month, maybe more ; ). As I stood there ready to hit those moves I had painstakingly memorized, the music finally came on, and ….  My mind went blank. Acting statuesque as the panel of judges writes first impression notes about you before the music comes on is enough to distract you in the first place. I have no idea what song was playing or what awkward moves finally started moving my feet from their glued spots on the floor, but I do know that not a single move from my perfect list of choreography was displayed during those disappointing two minutes.  I am thankful I didn’t stand stone cold like a few awestruck/paralyzed ladies. Who can blame them?

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Remembering Dog Beach {Long Beach}

Waking up to the sunshine flowing through my open window, I know the day will be the same as the one before; after all, it is Southern California. Washing my face and pulling on a swimsuit, I finished my ensemble with a beach bag filled with a towel, dog bowl, water bottle, an apple, tennis balls, and a Traveler magazine. The contents speak to my destination: Dog Beach.


Izzi, my fifty-pound blue heeler- Australian shepherd mix, pulls me up Ocean Blvd, over the stairs, and through the parking lot in three minutes flat (think of a sled dog pulling a water skier). I try to convey my sincere apology to the cars Izzi continues to ignore as she pulls me towards the sand with all her might.  Once her paws hit the sand, the game was over; she had won this round of tug of war. I get her to sit long enough to unleash her while there are no bikers within ten feet so she can cross the bike path safely (for her, but mostly the bikers). She barrels towards the waves.  A few minutes later, I reached the coned area where we were supposed to unleash. I find Izzi chest-deep in the water, chasing the splashes of a three-year-old girl in a blue and white swimsuit. I set up my towel and Izzi's water bowl and let the sun soak in. 


I sit up, hearing something happening at the water's edge. I pull my hand out from under my wet hair; my fingernails are sand-filled. Covered in the scent of a wet dog, I push myself up from the warmth of my towel and step into the breeze coming off the hazy blue water of Long Beach Bay.  People are grabbing boogie boards and rushing into the water to get close to a pod of approaching dolphins. They had gone uncensored until they were fifteen feet from the shoreline. Seven deep, gray fins rise and fall out of the waves while the dogs bark. A few brave dogs paddle out with their owners to see the new beach residents up close.  One man, returning to the squealing crowd on the beach, shouts, “I touched one!” 

I make the short distance from my familiar nomadic home consisting of a towel, dog bowl, extra tennis balls, and geography articles to the group of "dog beaches" I’ve come to know as friends over the last few months.  Everyone is ecstatic to see the dolphins back. A fisherman once told me dolphins used to be a common presence in the Long Beach waters, yet the last ten years have been barren, absent of all signs of the graceful creatures.  The fishermen, like the "dog beachers," have been bragging and spreading the word of the multiple dolphin sightings this summer in front of Granada Beach.  After thirty minutes of interacting with the dolphins, they start to leave. The dolphins either grew tired of the constant flashing of cameras, reaches of hopeful swimmers, and buggy boarders, or the fish had moved on. 

The crowd and I slowly retract back to our towels. We sink back into our chairs, or even better, let the sand curve to our bodies, and everyone eases back down. I close my eyes to take in the moment.  

Of course, there are the "not so glamorous" moments at Dog Beach. Everyone at one time or another witnesses, experiences, or shamefully has to claim their dog’s bad behavior.  Unexpectedly, being trampled by a herd of bulldogs, having your PB&J snatched away by a Saint Bernard, or suddenly feeling a warm spot form on the back of your chair as a suspicious wiener dog trots away looking distinguished is bound to happen to you at some point when you claim a patch of sand at the dog beach.

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Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders auditions 2006

Six years ago, when I was a freshman in college I auditioned for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Never have I faced challenges like those during that long three month period of auditions and training camp in 2006. Let’s start with the beginning. Living in a small town two hours west of Dallas I have always lived in the Cowboys Nation and looked up to the DCC. As long as I can remember, people have told me “you should be a DCC!” Even during a swing dancing competition in 2011 I had a judge tell me “you know, you look like a DCC, you should audition …" I just smiled and said “you are right, maybe I’ll do that! (again)." My love for the DCC was not from afar; my grandmother took me and my sister all over DFW to DCC appearances to meet them and get signed photos. I have a stack of signed squad photos starting from 1989 (I was three).


But back to the story... second semester, freshman year, I started to “get ready” for the 2006 auditions. I was so excited to be at TCU and close to the Cowboys, finally able to audition. Unfortunately  I had never taken dance seriously. I only started in 8th grade and throughout high school only dance one night a week. On the other hand, cheer leading was my number one priority and love. During my freshman year it would have been beneficial to take a dance class but instead I took a few kick boxing  classes at the gym and thought I was in pretty good shape. Oh, how naive! I was truly shocked to find myself making it through the audition rounds at Texas Stadium. 

Everyone was beautiful and the dancing was so far out of my league I was trembling with embarrassment as I thought to myself, "what am I doing here." After the first round of auditions, I actually didn't see my number on the white board. If it were not for the girl next to me randomly yelling, “you made it” and hugging me I would have walked away. 

With shock on my face I made my way back to my mom at the gate and we celebrated with tears and hugs. I was happy to make it to the second round and had very low expectations on the second day of auditions. We were down on the field and the dance moves they were teaching us didn't seem to be the type of dancing I associated with the DCC and I was utterly lost. As we made it back up to our seats and the judges came out for us to start I started crying. I was so disappointed in myself that I couldn't learn the material and went back and forth for several minuets trying to decide if I should leave or not. 

The first of the famous "Kalli Breakdowns" started to happen; I patted my cheeks to try and pull it together. Ironically, I thought "I made it so far," had I only known I would make it to the very end of training camp twice, six years apart I might have been a little bit less weepy. Thankfully, I was at the very beginning of the large group of women or else I may have never got out on the dance floor. I did what they tell you to do, "just smile and keep moving." Even in 2011, I auditioned with a girl who got out on the floor and barley moved, forgetting all the moves she knew so well moments before. She did not make it to the next round but is now on the 2012 squad after a second audition. 

Somehow, that tactic of "keep your feet moving" worked and Kelli called my name! Watching the show after I am still so honored that Judy said my solo was one of her favorites! If you can just make it past the second round finals is so much fun, because its your change to do what you do best. Even though I had a blast and felt confident, I again was completely taken aback when I made it to training camp. After almost missing my name on the board and barely able to say my name without choking up during the second round it was nothing less than a miracle. 

Morning of my 1st DCC audition, 2006

I had met Erika a few weeks before auditions and we became quick friends. She was there to help me through the entire journey.

When I made it into Training Camp my best friend Logan had secretly decorated my dorm door

After making it to training camp, the last weeks of my freshman year became the hardest of my life. The first week of training camp happened to be the week of school finals. So, I would wake up at 5 am study for that day’s exam, take it, and run back to my dorm, shower and get “DCC ready.” Then, I would drive an hour to Valley Ranch. Upon arrival we would run a couple of miles, work out with Jay, and then head into the studio to learn a new dance. I would get home about 1 am, practice until I fell asleep in my sweaty clothes, then wake up again at 5 am and do the exact same routine for a week. Obviously, this was not my most shining moment as a student. Not to mention, the boy I had been ogling and googling over had finally decided to be my official boyfriend and for the first two months of our relationship (after 5 months of admiration from afar) he only saw me once or twice a week just to say hi (he is now my wonderful husband ). Also, I was not able to say goodbye to all my new friends as they left for the summer. These may seem small, but at the time it was devastating. And, that was just the tip of the iceberg that made Kelli Finglass ask me… “are you emotional?” 

Training camp was beyond what I had ever imagined. Tobie and I had become good friends and lived together for that summer. She was an incredible dancer and it seemed so easy for her. I would practice, practice, practice and she would "review" and then get out there like a pro the next night; no wonder she went on to be a five year vet! The running before practice and then dancing for hours was grueling, but the most intensive part was having Kelli and Judy watch almost every practice. My feedback was consistent  "nice smile... sweet smile... big smile..."  followed by "lacking power... forgetful... forgetful..."   I was called in to the office almost every week but felt like Kelli and Judy really wanted me to do well but they looked at me like a poor wounded puppy. By the last week of camp I was feeling much more confident and started to whisper to myself, "you are almost there." 


The last week of training camp was coming to an end. I had the DCC squad photo day starred in my planner… I could see the end in sight! The last practice before squad photos we headed out the bubble on the Cowboys practice field at Valley Ranch. After quickly showing us the DCC stadium entrance they do before the games we were all spread out across the in-zone and made our attempts at the new choreography. Of course there are those that just "get it," and those Judy calls "take homers," I fall into that second group. I knew I was failing miserably and not "hitting my lines," but I kept on smiling. At the end of the night they had four girls stand up. We were surely the "maybe's" who's fate had yet to be decided. We turned away to Kelli and Judy and the rest of the girls and stud out on the field knowing this was it. The song they choose was one that we had learned recently and had a quick intro. I was the only one to start at the right time and was proudly beaming at that until I missed a change in the choreography as a result of messing two dances. The song ended and Kelli asked the girls, "who looks game ready?" My name was not called out. 

We went back to the locker rooms and everyone hugged myself, Natalie, and two others. After Natalie went in and came out saying "I am going to go eat a hamburger," I hugged her and went back to telling myself not to cry. I went into Kelli's office and I knew immediately it was my "last night." I was still very heartbroken and it was very difficult to let go of all that comes with making it to the end of training camp, most importantly your friends. I was devastated at the time and knew that no matter how we tried, the friends I had made would go on and we would loose touch. 

However, God knew what was best for me, and I believe, He had a hand in helping Kelli and Judy let me go.  I adored college. I was a leader in my sorority, Pi Beta Phi, found my passion for geography, and most importantly was able to spend my college experience with the love of my life.  If I had made DCC in 2006, I would have never been able to continue to be a crucial part in my sorority, which I loved. My education would not have been as important, and as a result, I might have never found my niche leading me to be a Geography Professor and do what I love everyday. And, I know without a doubt, I would never have been able to give as much time to the Lord, or my love; trying to juggle all of that would have been an impossible feat and I know something I loved would have dropped.


That audition lead me to find out who I really was, and even more importantly, what I really wanted.

Training Camp 2006

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Go Cheap {equals} Go Green

Regardless of how much I want a new dress I simply cannot justify buying anything not on sale. I will walk around a store with a product in hand, until I talk myself out of needing it, and put said product back on the shelf or hanger and walk away. To put it nicely, I am the cheapest person I know (my friends and family frequently remind me). As a result, I am one of the “greenest” people I know without “going green” being my main objective (even though it’s a nice bonus).


Halloween is around the corner and while my beautiful friends are gearing up to wear the most adorable, and wonderfully crafted costumes, I am sifting through the racks at my local thrift stores. What am I looking for? “Anything hot pink and a small plastic char.” I am going to be gum (hot pink) under a chair (worn as a hat). I walk away spending a total of $7.86. Not to mention, the best costume of the night.  But, the point is… my costume was “green.” I was reusing clothes and an old chair, giving it a second use, and doubling the worth of the energy that was used to produce them.


“Senior Hall of Fame” was the honored list of titles that the entire school voted for to distinguish a dozen seniors. Which title did I win? Most school spirited? No (but, I should have). Class clown? Definitely not. Most likely to succeed? Not even in the lineup. No, I was given the desirable honor of “Worst Driver.” And I have lived up to it in all aspects. This year alone I have rear-ended a motorcycle, knocked a side mirror off, dented the side of my car (garage’s fault), and knocked out a taillight.  The auto recycling business has me to thank for the majority of their business. Instead of buying new parts to replace my damaged goods I choose to use recycled auto parts. This of course is because I saved anywhere between 20% to 90% buying used parts. It was difficult to find the majority of the long list of parts I needed, but I was able to find two of the hardest by searching on PartingOut.com and by creating a Parts Wanted Listing for the one rare part. Now I have saved tons of money, and helped the environment by buying used parts. “It’s good for the earth, good for your wallet, and good for your vehicle.”


I have recently moved back to Texas from California. After selling all of my furniture (that I predominantly found in the alleys or were giveaways) on craigslist, I am now searching for new furniture. I got lucky. While at home two weekends ago, my mom and I were driving along the lake road. We stopped at a cabin for sale to take a look. We called the number and the owner said “take a look and take anything inside you want, I’m bulldozing it down tomorrow morning.” Thankfully, dad was only a phone call away with a truck. I came away with an awesome desk, small sofa, a great old chest, one dresser, two chairs, a stack of NatGeo’s, a mirror, bookshelf, and much, much, more. If we will only take the time to look in the unusual places for products and needs of all kinds we can help our wallets, our home, and beautiful earth.


Found this table in the alley.... then nailed it together and painted it ... now it is my favorite thing!


Try it out… “think cheap” and in the process “go green!”

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